Choosing to be a Housewife is as Normal as Being an Independent Working Woman

Being a homemaker, housewife or stay-at-home mum is not a novel concept. Most of our mothers have been there, done that. They never complained, and in fact, they’ve been role models for most of us. However, today, when you tell someone you’re a “housewife”, you’re looked down upon.

Let me narrate this story I vividly remember from school.

During our Home Science class, our teacher casually asked all the students what they wanted to pursue after college. Everyone went around and answered the question. There were several voices that said doctor, engineer, teacher and other professions that are considered “respectable” and “valuable” in the eyes of society. But then, there was this one girl who took everyone in the class by surprise when she said her dream job was to be a housewife. The room was filled with visible pauses and smirks. However, our teacher stood up and clapped. She said it’s harder to be a housewife than people think.

In today’s day and age, being a housewife is frowned upon. Certain homemakers also fall prey to social shaming. Well, just going out there and making money doesn’t make a woman independent and strong. Staying home and keeping the family bond intact is something as normal as being a working woman.

Why is being a housewife harder than people think?

It’s sad that people out there think housewives have it easy. Well, they don’t know how difficult and challenging days can be. My mum always said that having a 9-5 job five days a week is much easier than being a housewife. That’s because her duty as a wife and mother starts at 6am. From ensuring the house is clean to handling the domestic help and keeping all the meals ready for the day, her job definitely isn’t easy. As a working woman, I at least get holidays and enough downtime. But for her, it’s 24/7, 365 days of the year with no holidays. Now that I’m married, my respect for my mother has increased tenfold. Till today, she does it all with a smile on her face and zero complaints.

The next time someone says being a housewife is considered shallow, tell them why it’s the hardest job. Here are a few points I’ve penned down for everyone to know:

• Housewives get no paychecks

Housewives work hard day and night, and they still get no paycheque. There is no sense of encouragement or motivation. Despite that, they work endlessly and give it their all. People also have this misconception that stay-at-home mums don’t work. Well, instead, they’re multitaskers. They work as full-time chefs, chauffeurs, babysitters, nurses, and more with no pay or days off.

• Work never stops

When you’re a homemaker, the job is 24/7. From the moment you open your eyes till you close them at night, there are an array of household chores that need to be taken care of. And, just when you decide to indulge in some “me” time, you realise you’re too tired.

• No one encourages or praises you

You know what’s the saddest part of being a housewife? Absolutely no one praises, values or encourages you. You’re husband and children probably think you’re a nag. However, they fail to realise the gazillion things you’re doing for them from morning. The only people who probably tell you what a great job you’re doing are other mums and homemakers because they are in the same situation too.

Isn’t it evident that being a housewife is hard?

I hate the stigma that is associated with being “just” a housewife. It’s considered synonymous to simply sitting at home. It may sound like I’m ranting. However, I’m talking on behalf of all those women who have received so much flak about their choices and are constantly living in guilt. It’s wrong to judge women for the choices they’ve made.

Being empowering isn’t necessarily something that has to solely be linked to a career. When a woman aspires to be a better cook, mother or wife, she is also ambitious. Another thing we need to realise is that a woman is more than her educational qualifications or job. I’ve also heard people say that if you decide to be a housewife, you’re not utilising any of the skills you learned in your degree. Honestly speaking, running a household also requires tremendous skill such as time management, efficient organisation, delegation and planning. Thus, education isn’t necessarily being wasted. Another common misconception people have about housewives is that they have to stay locked up at home the entire day. Well, it’s not a punishment. They can still hang out with their friends or pursue a passion. It’s just that they’re not in a formal job which gives them a salary every month.

We’re not saying being a stay-at-home woman is better than being a working wife. Both have their own set of challenges and triumphs. It doesn’t make you less of a woman if you choose to work and it doesn’t make you a less of a feminist if you stay home and decide to run the household. Both the positions should be viewed in equal measure. Whatever it is, don’t feel obligated to be pushed in either direction. It all boils down to what’s right for you and which path you want to take. You can be career-oriented, family oriented or both.

Whether a woman wants to stay home or go to work, it’s her personal choice. Constantly judging a woman who has decided to be a homemaker is in fact being narrow-minded. It’s high time we realise, housewife is not a dirty word. There are even feminists and womanists who debate the role of a housewife in modern society. Being pressured to be a housewife is different from choosing to be one. That’s where feminists should voice their opinion.

Go out there and conquer your life in an apron, a business suit or however you’d like. Live it the way you want and listen to nobody, especially the naysayers.

Watch this beautiful video by Sadhguru to understand why a housewife is as important as a career-oriented woman.