Career Growth & Marriage – Why are they not related?

Back in the day, marriage would pose a huge setback for the career of a working woman. Thankfully, India is stepping closer to modernisation and doing away with the patriarchal mind-set that only the man of the house is allowed to work. However, this again is debatable. For a girl to continue her full-time job after marriage mainly depends on the kind of family she gets married into. No matter how broadminded society portrays itself to be, there are still a few families that want a woman to sacrifice her career and cater to the household needs. In a few remote places, the position of a housewife is considered more respectable compared to that of a working woman.

It’s high time we do away with this mind-set and accept the fact that marriage is not a setback to career growth. One can be happily married and pursue her career in something she loves at the same time. Before I tied the knot, I was very clear that I want to work after marriage. I honestly didn’t want my creative freedom to take a hit. Achieving my life goals just makes me feel so good about myself. Also, my partner and I share responsibilities equally and manage everyday expenses which feels great.

Importance of Discussing your Career with your Partner before Marriage

A common mistake most women make is that they don’t talk to their partner before marriage. It comes with a lot of changes and uncertainties, and thus not having the talk can only worsen the situation. For a woman to have a successful career, a supportive marriage is imperative. We live in a society where a man may have a career without the support of his wife. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that for a woman. If you’re someone who is about to take the big leap, here are five relevant topics you should discuss with your prospective partner. This will save you from frequent quarrels or differences that might occur between the two of you over time.

1. Discuss the Possibility of Relocating to Another Place

Career growth usually occurs when you move to another city or take up a role in a new company. Before marriage, moving to another place may have not seemed like an arduous task. However, once you’re married, it may not be easy to move two careers to a new city. Thus, before you tie the knot, bring this matter to the table. Ask your partner if he is comfortable moving to a new location after marriage. Usually, it is women who compromise on their jobs. If your partner cares about your dreams and is a supportive husband, he might be willing to move with you.

2. Understand Each Other’s Job Profile

Your partner’s and your job are going to be different. The demands too will change based on the nature of the role, the job profile and the type of industry. For example, you or your partner may have a night shift or late working hours, or his job may be more stressful than yours or vice-versa. Before you get married, speak to your going-to-be husband about the demands of your job. This will also help you manage household chores and plan for the future accordingly. If you both are in the same field, you can also help each other.

3. Discuss Financial Independence

These days, being financially independent is imperative. Money is one of the biggest motivators to work. Once you’re married, just earning isn’t enough. You will have to speak to your partner on how both of you can collectively manage funds. In certain families, the husband takes care of all the household expenses while the wife tends to save her income. However, times are changing. You and your partner should equally share financial responsibilities. Discussing these matters beforehand will help both of you immensely. Also, money is a sensitive topic, and should be dealt with utmost care. Decide who will pay for groceries, bills, domestic help and other ancillary expenses. Once both of you are on the same page with regard to “money matters”, life will be more seamless.

4. Consider Partaking Household Chores

If you’re staying only with your partner and not your in-laws, the responsibility to manage the house would fall on both of you. Let’s be realistic that managing household chores is a full-time job. Supervising the kitchen and cleaning isn’t just a woman’s responsibility. Early into your relationship, discuss how you both are going to manage the meals, laundry and other domestic chores after a hectic day at work. Plan your schedule in such a way that both of you have time for merriment and to take care of household responsibilities. Doing this won’t hinder either yours or your partner’s career growth.

5. Take an Oath not to Compare your Careers

Once you’re married, everyone you meet will want to compare your careers, designation and salary. Certain opinions and views might even disturb you. The best way to avoid dealing with such repercussions is to take an oath not to compare your job profiles ever. This will also help you maintain your marital peace and ensure both yours and your partner’s career flourishes.

When I married the love of my life, I made sure I discussed all the above-mentioned points with him. My main goal was for both of us to be on the same page. I didn’t want our genders to decide who does what. And, I’m lucky to have found a partner who supports my dreams and thinks of both of us as equals. In the quest of climbing up the corporate ladder, we even take turns with cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, and other household chores.

Use my example and never consider marriage as a setback of a working woman. Career growth and marriage are completely unrelated. With just a little planning and support from your husband, and in-laws, a woman can give wings to her dreams, manage the entire household alongside having a challenging profession.

If you’re someone who got married recently, tell us about how marriage did not pose a threat to your career. We would love to hear your inspiring and empowering stories.