If Dad can do that to Mom, why won’t Sunil do it to me!

Geetha was very distressed.  The drooping shoulders, the frow on her face, spoke of the burden that lay heavy on her. As she laid her eyes on me, she burst into tears.  

“Geeta,” I called, “What happened? Why are you cryin.”  In response, she said, “It’s Smitha, She has a nervous breakdown.”  Shocked beyond belief, I stared at her with my mouth open. I couldn’t speak.

Smitha, Geetha’s daughter well-educated and will soon be married to the love of her life. A nervous breakdown? Why? What could have caused it!

I tried desperately to calm myself down. And then I mustered the courage to ask. “Geetha,” I said, “what are you saying, "Smitha has a nervous breakdown? Have you seen a doctor?" I enquired. She shook her head with tears rolling down her face.

After some time spent in silence, Geetha spoke again. “You know her wedding is only a month away.’ she said. It was now my turn to nod.  “She wants me to cancel the wedding. She does crazy things. She is not in her senses.” And then Geetha looked frightened. She leaned forward and grabbed my hands in hers and asked, “what if the boy’s side gets to know of it!” She wailed. “Will they break off the alliance? I don’t know what to do!” she said as she hugged me for comfort.

I just sat there, not knowing what to say. I spent some time in deep thought, and then I asked, “shall we see a Psychiatrist and get an opinion on this, we could even treat her—” Before I could finish speaking, Geetha almost shouted, “No! Never!” I put my arm around her and said, “Geetha, we could treat her and she could be well again.” Geetha shook her head from one side to another. I tried to reason with her,  “Geetha?” I called. “She will be well again. Not getting her treated by a doctor is criminal!”  She looked at me and spoke in a low voice, “everyone will say she is mad!”

“Geetha, what are you saying,” I asked, “if Smitha is sick she needs treatment.” 

I persisted in my argument saying, “Geetha you are a diabetic. If you did not receive the right treatment at the right time can you imagine what would happen to you?” I continued saying, “Every sick person needs treatment—” Geetha cut me off saying, “It is not a sickness, she is mad!”  I was shocked at Geetha’s ignorance.  How could she say that! I was irritated, but I did not let her see that. I had to do my best to get the girl to the doctor. But the more I tried to convince Geetha, the more adamant she was. “No one must know.” she kept repeating it.

Image Source

Finally, I requested Geetha, “May I see Smitha and talk to her?” Geetha now looked directly at me and said,  “Yes of course. That’s what I came to ask of you, for you to speak with her. I asked, “Where is Smitha, now?”  “At home,” Geetha answered. I quickly left with Geetha to her house.

The drive was short but seemed long that day. When we arrived at Geetha’s, it was Smitha who opened the door. She was happy to see me. “Aunty!" She exclaimed as she held me by my hand and pulled me into the house. Everything seemed so normal. She welcomed me like always. There didn’t seem like there was something wrong. Was I missing something?  

I thought to myself, “it's best to pretend that I am unaware of her sickness.” 

Smitha and I sat down on the sofa as she chatted cheerfully.  I suddenly asked Smitha, "Smitha,” I said, “tell me if everything is ready for the wedding. We only have one month."

The mood suddenly changed. The girl was quiet as she sat staring into space. Putting on my best smile,  I asked, " What’s up?'', I asked. Smitha looked uncertain. Her chin trembled, and she looked at me with tear-filled eyes. “Aunty, I don’t want to get married to Sunil,” she said.  Smitha looked disturbed as she repeated, “I am scared. I don’t want to get married.” And then she requested, “Will you convince Mom, please. Tell her I don’t want to marry Sunil. Help me to break it off with him.”

Sunil was an excellent match for Smitha. Smitha and Sunil loved each other and were inseparable.  After seeing each other for some time, Sunil came to Geetha to ask for Smitha’s hand in marriage. What could have led Smitha to change her mind?

I asked her the question. “Smitha, why?” Smitha began to cry, “ Sunil is cheating on me.” She continued saying, “We were to meet at a party a few days back. When I got there, he was dancing with a girl. As soon as I got there he introduced her to me. She is an old classmate he told me. But from that moment it is playing on my mind!” 

I looked at Smitha and asked, “ If there is someone else in his life, why would he want to marry you.” She was quiet. Encouraged I continued, “Did you talk to him about it. He seems like a nice boy.” She suddenly blurted, “If Dad can do that to Mom, why won’t Sunil do it to me!” 

I was now driving back home, thinking how the little things we say to each other can mislead our kids and even destroy them.