Is your Best Friend a New Mom? Here’s How you Can Help & Support Her

At the moment, we’re in that phase of life where friends are getting married, and a few friends are having babies. If you’re a friend to a new mom, you’re probably wondering what you should do. While it’s a huge milestone for your friend, it also means something for your friendship too. You’ll have to bid goodbye to night-long conversations, lunch dates and shopping hauls. If you would occasionally surprise your bestie with a bottle of wine and flowers, now you might have to send her baby products. Since you’re likely to be an aunt to a first-time mom and dad, there are several things you should be doing to make your dear friend feel comfortable and loved in this new phase.

How to Help a New Mom?

1. Never Stop by Unannounced

To see your best friend having a baby is obviously very exciting. You might be eager to see the new-born every few days. However, contain your excitement. Remember, it’s a busy phase not just for a new mother but their family too. Always give your bestie and her husband their space after they get home from the hospital. In case you plan to visit them in the first few weeks, never stop by unannounced. Inviting yourself over might not go down too well with your bestie or her family. Especially during the pandemic, it’s better not to thrust yourself upon anyone. Since it’s a sensitive time, sanitisation and social distancing play an important role. Always leave a text or give the new parents a heads-up if you’re planning to go to their house. On your visit, don’t linger on especially if you’re only going to leave a gift.

2. Take Something

It’s basic etiquette to take something for a new mom. While you’re not obligated to take something, it’s always nice if you do. First-time mom gifts don’t have to be expensive. Even if you just fill a goody bag with baby products, your bestie may be grateful. In case you’re planning to buy cute outfits for the baby, or bedding, always check with your friend. She might have already received a lot of pregnancy gifts. Therefore, we’d suggest you ask your friend what she really wants for her little one. Since you’re going to be spending a certain amount of money, it’s always better to give something that will be useful for the new mom and baby alike. These days, a lot of first-time parents are following the baby gift registry trend. This helps friends and family get gifts a baby can use.

3. Offer Specific, Domestic Help

If your friend and her husband live without their in-laws, you can be of great help. Having a baby is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting especially in the first few months. The house may be a mess, the laundry may have to be done or the dishes in the sink may have to be washed. Well, the best support you can offer your friend is by taking up their household chores. If you feel their apartment needs to be cleaned on your visit, just do it. Bring your girl gang to help. Your friend might be hesitant to ask you for help but if you know her well, go ahead and do those specific tasks. These little things can go a long way. Besides this, you can even run specific errands for them. Whether it’s buying groceries or taking their dog for a walk, you as a friend have an important role to play in your bestie’s pregnancy journey.

4. Be a Good Listener

You’ve probably heard the good ol’ phrase, “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. Beyond material gifts, you can help a new mom by just being there. Check on them often, be patient and listen to each and everything they say. You might find it a bit annoying if your best friend is overly obsessing over their new-born. However, just listen. This new phase is extremely overwhelming for them, and they might just want to talk about their baby. At no point you should lose your cool. If you desperately crave adult conversations, you can even change the topic, and give them some latest scoop or tell them some of your funny workplace tales.

5. Request Time with the Baby

If you want to spend time with the baby, ask them. If they aren’t okay with it, take a step back, and don’t be offended. But on the other hand, if your best friend is completely okay with you taking care of their new-born, don’t miss the opportunity. It’s a good time for you to experiment with your maternal instincts. Every new mom wants a little break to nap, take a long shower, eat peacefully, visit a spa or simply breathe. Ask them if they’re okay with you holding their baby (new parents are extremely possessive). Refrain from taking pictures with the baby when the parents aren’t around, don’t put any updates on social media, and most importantly always wear a mask if you’re holding a new-born.

6. Help with Other Kids

If this is your friend’s second child, you can offer to take care of the other one. Taking care of more than one baby can be very hard especially if the older sibling is still very young. Also, second-time parents don’t want their other child to feel neglected. As a friend, you can offer to take them to the park to play or buy them gifts. This not just makes the child feel rest assured but also takes off a great responsibility off the parent’s shoulders of managing two kids at the same time.

7. Don’t Offer Free Advice Unless You’re Asked for It

You probably share a great rapport with your friend which allows you to tell her almost anything. When she’s a new mom, be a bit cautious. Your new mom friend may have read plenty of books in her pregnancy, and got advice from family members. If she hears it again from you, she might get a bit irritated. Therefore, offer advice only if you’re asked to. Your role is to support her with hugs and sympathy, and be an outlet where she can vent.

Being a friend to a new mom is quite exciting. Enjoy the journey with your bestie. As it’s a real testing time for your friendship, always be there for them physically and emotionally. If you know your boundaries, and what is expected of you, the journey will be a breeze.