It’s Okay to Not Have Life Figured Out Always

“Don’t grow up, it’s a trap”.

As we grow up, it’s ingrained in our brains that we’re supposed to have our whole life figured out by the time we’re 21 years old.

Our parents and the people around us constantly enlighten us on the path we’re supposed to follow if we want to achieve our dreams.

It goes like this:

• Get good grades in school so that you can get into a good college
• Get good grades in college so that you can get a good job
• Get a job and earn a decent salary so that you can find a great life partner
• Get married, have kids, buy your dream house
• And, you will live happily ever after

In the quest of creating this life plan for us, they don’t realise the immense pressure we feel. At each phase in our life, we’re constantly told this story and when the pieces of the puzzle called life don’t fit perfectly, we start blaming ourselves and questioning our abilities.

Are you freaking out because you don’t have a fulltime job or you’re still single? Well, IT’S OKAY! This kind of life plan where you need to have everything figured out by a certain age is highly problematic and simply absurd. There is no need to worry if you haven’t figured out your life by the age of 21, 25 or even 30.

A common problem with our society is that when you haven’t achieved these “goals”, they perceive you to be a failure. At this point, you feel like you’re not doing enough which can lead to stress and anxiety. Statements such as “I am a complete failure” or “why am I not as successful as she is” are common. Let me tell you, life doesn’t work like that. It’s truly worth living when it’s difficult, challenging and interesting. It’s not a mission which you have to accomplish. Instead, it’s a ride you have to enjoy.

5 Steps to Get Unstuck when you’re Feeling Lost

• Focus on little victories and daily successes

Dreaming and having long-term goals is great. However, just channelising your energy to achieve these goals shouldn’t be the sole purpose of your life. Instead, focus on little successes. This will give you the satisfaction that you’re making constant progress every day. Also, these victories don’t just have to be on the work front. Cooking a great meal or decluttering your room can also bring you happiness. Don’t focus on big picture problems. Rather, enjoy every moment and you’ll never feel lost again.

• Take some time off to explore

After you complete your undergrad, it’s almost like a rat race. Everybody is ready to jump into their career. At this point, if you haven’t decided what you want to do, it’s easy to feel left out, especially if your friends have been placed through campus recruitment. However, uncertainty isn’t always a bad thing. Take some time off. After three years of college life, if you have to take a break for a few months, there’s nothing wrong. Remember, once you commit yourself to a full-time job, it can get pretty difficult taking some time off. Thus, take advantage of your uncertainty. Travel, volunteer, meet new people or simply do anything that makes you happy. When you do this, you will come out with a much better understanding of yourself, and may be by then, you might even figure out what you want to do.

• Experiment

If you haven’t figured out what to do with your life, experiment every day. If there’s something that interests you, sign up/enrol for a class. Who knows, you might just find your passion? During the phase when you’re figuring out what to do, and if you need some extra money, you can always try out different jobs. You will end up learning a lot and you can then put this experience to use. It also gives you an idea of what to look for or avoid in your future career.

• Let go of expectations

People will expect all kinds of things from you. However, remember, you’re the creator of your destiny and the master of your happiness. If something is not working for you, let go of it. People might put you down too. When you try to live up to other people’s expectations, you will end up feeling miserable. Therefore, let go of expectations. Set a benchmark for yourself and work towards it. Smile often, express your gratitude and you’ll be the happiest person on earth.

• Remember you’re not alone

When you’re not doing anything with your life, it can be downright frustrating. This particular phase can be pretty trying. When you’re feeling a bit lost, always remember that you’re not alone. There are many others in your position who are still trying to figure things out. From the outside, it might seem like everyone is pretty sorted. But in reality – in various stages of life, people might still be searching for their real purpose. The satisfaction of knowing that you’re not alone is all the drive you need.

We’ll leave you with some truths that you should always keep in mind:

• Everyone’s journey is different. Don’t compare your life with what you see on social media.
• Nothing comes easy. To reach a particular place in life, you need to work hard.
• Don’t envy other people’s success and happiness. Instead, create your own.
• Use your talents wisely.

Keep chugging, and eventually it will all fall in place. Keep in mind, there’s no race or finishing line. Everyone’s journey is different, and we’re on this earth for a very limited time. Therefore, make the most of it, keep experimenting and one day you will have it figured out.