Marrying Late or Not Marrying at all is Normal

If there is one thing Indian parents are obsessed with, it is marriage. Once their child has completed their education, they just want to see him/her “settled down”.  In fact, when you’re in your mid-twenties, every aunty at every party or get-together wants to know when you’re tying the knot. Well, this can be downright frustrating. After all, it’s your life. When you want to get married, and whether you want to get married or not is your choice, and it’s completely normal. Don’t let any third person decide your fate.

Thankfully, to the dismay of grannies and aunties everywhere, Gen Zers and millennials seem to be in no rush to get married. Gone are the days when marriage was declared the ultimate life goal. Today, people have different aspirations and are choosing to marry late for lasting happiness. We completely agree and believe it’s better to delay the process than marrying the wrong person early. Also, if you choose to not marry all your life, that’s okay too.

Marrying in your 30s is the New Normal

For decades, the average marriage age hovered in the 20s. In fact, matchmakers claim that as you get older, the marriage market gets thinner, and thus you may never end up finding a life-partner. Well, things have changed for the better. 20 is no longer the milestone age for men and women to marry. Getting married when you hit the big 30 seems to be the new normal. Waiting longer to get married has become more of a norm. And I guess, it’s a welcoming change. Even if you’re not anywhere close to getting married as you see your 30s to whoosh by, don’t get alarmed. If it has to happen, it will, and if it doesn’t, honestly you’re not missing out. It’s become more of a personal choice.

Here are a few reasons why people are getting married later in life:

• They’re more likely to get it right

Studies suggest that if you marry late, you’re more likely to get it right. Marriage is an institution that requires one to have a certain level of maturity. The older you are, you will know what exactly you want from life. We’re not saying people in their 20s can’t adjust. It just may be a struggle for young women and men in their 20s as it’s difficult to differentiate what’s right and what’s wrong.

• Women are more career driven and independent

Now more than ever, women have access to higher education. Back in the day, our grandparents and parents did face many limitations that prevented them from realising their individual potential. However, today, women are no longer limited to only being homemakers. They too are becoming breadwinners of a household and have carved a niche for themselves. This has resulted in women becoming more career-oriented. To pursue their ambitions they are seen pushing back marriage timelines which is completely cool. Owing to this, they do not see the need to commit to a partner yet.

• More people are in live-in relationships

Earlier, a girl and boy would meet and get married immediately. Not anymore! Another reason why couples are choosing to marry late is because they usually cohabit or opt for a live-in relationship before tying the official knot. They mainly do this to test their compatibility and get a whiff of married life minus the commitment. If they feel they can spend the rest of their lives together, they choose to get married irrespective of their age. Today, society too accepts this sort of living arrangement.

• There is a rise in divorce rates

Another reason why both men and women are postponing their marriage plans is because the generation today is witnessing a lot of divorce around them. Owing to this they are more cautious to commit to a relationship especially for a long-term.

• It gives more time for contemplation

One good thing about waiting longer to get married is that people get more time to figure out who they are and who they want to be with. Also, it varies from person to person. Someone might meet their partner at the age of 20 and that’s great whereas for someone else, that extra time is key. Religion also has a crucial role to play as far as marrying early or late is concerned.

Marrying late can definitely be a gift. It gives an individual more time to find and discover themselves. However, make sure you get your priorities and work-life boundaries straight.

Now that we know why people marry late, let us understand why some people are totally fine to never get married. It’s normal and should be accepted instead of being judged.

Why Some People Feel Marriage isn’t for them

• Marriage does not guarantee a secure relationship

A lot of parents push their children towards marriage thinking they will be “sorted” for the rest of their lives. Well, this isn’t always the case. If something has to go wrong, it will. There may be even compatibility issues and other personal problems that might interfere within a marriage. Even the best matches fail at times.

• Marriage is just a tag

Honestly, marriage is just a label or a tag. You can be a committed, loving partner without a piece of paper telling you that. This is why a lot of individuals are opting for live-in relationships.

• Marriage in India means marrying the whole family

Well, this is one thing we’re all aware of. In India, we don’t just marry our partner. Instead, we marry the whole family. A lot of individuals feel that this is one reason why the majority of couples fight. And honestly, it’s fair to not want so much baggage in a relationship.

• There is no such thing as “happily married”

For some, the concept of being happily married doesn’t exist. Their priorities are different and they want different things from life. They want to live life on their own terms rather than listening to anyone.

Hence, the next time someone schools you on marriage, you know what to tell them. It’s your choice and thus, it should never be made a compulsion.