Talking to a Stranger is Wrong but Marrying Your Child to One is Completely Okay

A  child is often told by her parents not to talk to a stranger. However, the same parents end up getting the child married to a stranger once she grows up. Hypocrisy, right? They do so in the name of “arranged marriage”. And, they feel like it’s completely okay, right for their child, etc. Well, we do get where they’re coming from. Every parent ultimately wants their child to be happy and they believe that if they select a man for their daughter, she’d be happier. Honestly, we don’t think so. In today’s times, arranged marriages are failing too. Contrary to what parents think, an arranged marriage does not guarantee success. In their defence, they’d say that they are doing it in the best interest of their daughter.

As occupants of a modern, progressive society, it’s high time the whole scenario changes. We are not against arranged marriages. However, we feel like parents should give their child the freedom to decide for themselves. In an arranged marriage, the parents select a spouse for their children. There are two types of arranged marriages – one is a forced marriage where the parents select a spouse for the child and he/she has no say in the decision whatsoever, and the other is the regular type of arranged marriage we see where the child is allowed to meet the selected spouse, go on a few outings together and then decide what is best for her. The latter is extremely popular in India. However in the first type, the child actually ends up marrying a stranger which is wrong on so many levels. It takes away an individual’s creative freedom and independence completely.

Here’s a request to all parents – please stop forcing your child to get married as soon as they reach the so-called “marriageable age”.

Why is Marriage the Obsession of Every Parent in India?

Marriage is a beautiful bond between two individuals. It is a sacred knot of lifetime companionship. Unfortunately, marriage in India has become a social obligation. There are no two thoughts about the fact that Indian parents are obsessed with marriage. No sooner the child completes her education, the parents feel an urgent need to marry her off to a “stranger”. Soon, every conversation and family outing almost becomes an interrogation. Middle-aged aunties want to know if you’ve found your Mr. Right as they judge you left, right and centre! Being hounded by relatives is downright annoying.

It’s our sincere request to our dear parents to understand that times have changed. Gone are the days when marriage was considered a checkbox that needs to be ticked. It has now become something that happens in the due course of time.

Despite this, there are still a lot of parents who are eager to arrange the marriage of their child. Some of the reasons for this are:

• Customs: A major reason why parents arrange the marriage of their child is because they are torn by customs. They tend to follow what their parents and grandparents did and thus, thrust their decisions on the child.
• Culture: Marriage in India is a family affair. It’s not just the couple that needs to match but the families too. In every Indian family, culture and tradition plays an important role. Parents prefer finding a match for their child who is of the same religion and has a similar lifestyle in terms of language and food.
• Profession: Marriages in India are also based on profession and social status. Parents usually select a groom who is of the same financial status and social standing. That’s because they want their child to lead a comfortable life after marriage without any hardships. They feel like since they know their child well, they would be able to pick a perfect partner.
• Horoscope: Another important reason why parents pick an arranged alliance is because of horoscope reasons. They use astrology to determine the future compatibility between a boy and a girl.
• Portrayal of love marriage: In the Indian sub-continent, there is major discrimination when it comes to love and arranged marriages. People who opt for the latter are often viewed in poor light. Even if the love marriage is successful, those whose marriages have been arranged are always given more preference.

While these are a few reasons why parents prefer arranged marriages, there are many other reasons why it’s an obsession for them:

• They find it shameful if their child is not married by a certain age. Society too will start pressuring them.
• They want to see their child married and settled.
• They have aspirations to host a grand wedding in order to make distant relatives happy.
• They feel like their kids won’t find a suitable match after a particular age.
• A child’s biological clock starts ticking.
• Parents with daughters want to get free of the responsibility of marriage before their retirement.
• They consider marriage more important than their child’s dreams and aspirations.

Owing to societal pressure, parents often end up getting their child married to the wrong one. Marriage should be a personal choice rather than a social obligation. Getting married to fulfil your parent’s obsession will take your relationship nowhere. Since it is a lifelong commitment, the decision should not be made in a hurry. Therefore, dear parents, please think twice before getting your child married to a stranger. Millennials today are in no hurry to get married. Settling down is not everybody’s priority. While we’re not against arranged marriages, we only feel like, take your child’s opinion before doing anything as it is their life after all.