Things to keep in mind when visiting an ill or injured person!

By Samyati Mohanty

You've recently learned that a friend or member of your family is hospitalised, and you want to express your concern. What would be most beneficial? a considerate card Or perhaps something to pass the time?

Nobody ever tells you that being ill makes you the focus of a whirlwind of worried attention from family and friends. It does, of course. One of the good things is that. Actually, it's the only positive aspect. It's also a difficult endeavour at a time when you might feel like you already have plenty on your plate. Suddenly, on top of everything else, you have to take care of the emotional needs of all your loved ones as well as, strangely, one or two persons who you don't see from year to year but who decide that they must spend every waking hour by your bedside, preaching.

When you're sick, it's nice to hear from others. The phrase "No need to reply" is also nice. The biggest surprise comes from witnessing how competitive people may be in their desire to "be there for you," and how they are occasionally unable to conceal their resentment when another friend is given a particularly delicate position at a particularly sensitive medical visit. Nobody intends to be bothersome or obtrusive. Everything is done with the best of intentions. But my God, it hurts. However, you too may be the friend in need that you want to be by refraining from saying 10 easy things.

Here are some things to bear in mind when visiting a loved one who is ill or has been injured. This essay will instruct you on what to say and, more importantly, what not to say to someone who is struggling and only wants your encouragement.

1. Try saying: "I wish you didn't have to go through this horrible period" instead of "I feel sorry for you." By doing so, you are acknowledged as a sentient being who is still a part of your own narrative and not just a helpless victim.

2. Funny enough, being told that you must fight your cancer like some romantic mediaeval hero on a journey is not reassuring. In the pursuit of a cure, submitting to  medical science is just that—a submission. It is glib to the point of disrespect to suggest that illness is a test of character and that healing is a prize for the brave. "If anyone can beat this, it's you," say you. This will bolster their mental fortitude and inspire them to do so.

3. Nobody enjoys being patronised by absurd lies. They are embarrassing for the listener as much as the speaker. Your  unwell friend will ask your opinion if she wants to talk about how she looks. Take your lead from her; it'll be a leading inquiry. Try stating something like "you are looking better and fresher today" to reassure them that the medication is working and that they should be hopeful for a better outcome.

4. Ask them to keep you informed about their physical and mental health conditions. Oddly, after long, difficult, unpleasant, and invasive examinations that finally resulted in news you didn't want to hear, one doesn't really want to feel obligated to immediately log onto social media. Of course, people are worried, which is why they ask. However, worrying a little bit is simpler to handle than the process of accepting information that confirms another round of soul-crushing, incapacitating treatment. People should be given some discretion over the when, how, and whom they choose to discuss these topics with if they do so. Instead, calling the people they love the most is acceptable, as is offering to tell those who are also worried about the news.

5. Never attempt to relax among them and demonstrate your ability to eat tasty and spicy meals. That hurts a lot! Hehe..

6. The most crucial thing to keep in mind is that they are suffering and are not at all looking for another sad narrative, which may appear inspiring but is actually rather exhausting.

7. Try recommending some media to them based on the genre they prefer.

8. While they are sleeping, try reading a book or the newspaper to them.

9. The best interactions happen online! You are free to engage in unlimited video calls or binge watch online series.

It is not a contest among the well-wishers to be by the sick loved ones' sides at all costs. Make sure they are at ease with your presence before deciding to stay for them and with them. Stay away from doing anything that can irritate them, disturb them, or increase their susceptibility. Be someone they can talk to and confide in who they truly need to talk to about the circumstance.