This Propose Day, Break Stereotypes and Propose to Your Man, instead!

“He said yes!” These are words we seldom hear. It’s rare for women to propose in heterosexual couples. When it comes to popping the question, men are expected to put in all the hard work. From buying the ring to planning a fancy and unique proposal, the expectations women have today are bizarre. The western tradition of a man bending a knee, proposing marriage isn’t a novel concept in India. It’s been around for years.

February is the most romantic time of the year, and with Propose Day being celebrated on 8^th February, most girls in love are waiting with bated breath for their man to pop the question. Honestly, this thought process has left me perplexed. Millennials today are approaching matrimony differently. Whether it’s getting married at an older age or choosing not to have children, they seem to have set their priorities straight. Despite such clarity in thought millennials have regarding marriage, what surprises me is that a vast majority of romantic relationships  still follow gender roles when it comes to the “proposal”. A survey says, 95 percent of proposals are made by men. A mere 5 percent of women only propose to the love of their life.

The intention of this blog is to understand why a woman proposing to a man is such a rarity?

Can a Woman Propose to a Man?

Of course, she can!

It’s high time a man stops making the first move in all stages of the relationship. Back in the day, it was considered cute for a man to ask for the first date and take the relationshipto the next level. Well, let’s be realistic, we’re in 2023, and it’s completely normal for a woman to go ahead and propose to the man she’s been dating for years.

You’ll be surprised to know that plenty of women have decided to drop down on their knees, do the asking and leave the traditional gender roles behind. In 2019, Olympic Ski race, Lindsey Vonn asked her boyfriend, PK Subban, to marry her. She literally made a bold statement about equality and even tweeted “Women aren’t the only ones who should get engagement rings.” She proposed to him in front of a Christmas tree along with their three dogs. How cute is that?

A woman proposing to a man isn’t a new concept. A lot of celebrities have done it before. For example, Britney Spears proposed to Kevin Federline in 2004. Even Jennifer Hudson proposed to David Otunga in 2009, five months after he proposed to her.

Tips for Women who Want to Pop the Question

Asking someone to marry you is a big deal. If you’re a woman who wants to ask the man of your dreams for marriage, we have some helpful tips:

• Make sure you’re ready

First, you need to ask yourself if it’s the right time to make it official. If you still feel like your relationship isn’t ready to be taken to the next level, give it some time, and work on it. Even before you go ahead and propose, speak to your man about marriage during a casual discussion. Understanding where both of you stand will help you make the move at the right time and for the right reasons. Ensure your proposal has honest motives. Don’t do it only because you fear losing your partner.

• Let go of societal norms

In the beginning of the article, we mentioned that a woman proposing to a man is rare. Well, there are two major reasons for this. Firstly, it’s because of tradition. It was customary for a man to get down on one knee and propose since he would be the financial provider after marriage (thankfully, this has changed over the years). Secondly, it’s because of societal norms. If a woman proposed, she became a target of criticism. In such cases, women were considered unfeminine and bossy. They’re even criticised for hurting their partner’s ego. Society seems to have an aversion to assertive women. According to conservative mindsets, women are meant to wait. If you’re in a relationship and want to take the next step, you should do so irrespective of what people say, and not let your decision be determined by gender roles.

• Keep the proposal simple

I’ve seen tons of proposals on Instagram, and trust me some are really cringe-worthy. When you’re proposing to your man, you certainly don’t need a fireworks display. After all, what matters is your intention. Keep it simple and enjoy the moment. More than where and how you propose, it’s important to choose a meaningful day. It should become a day that will be etched in your memory forever. Most men don’t like drawing a lot of attention to themselves. Keep it casual. Do it over breakfast or while holding hands, or literally anytime.

Romantic Proposal Ideas for your Man

• Recreate your first date

As mentioned, men don’t like too much fuss around proposals. Thus, the sweetest way you can propose to your man while keeping it romantic is by recreating your first date. Trust me, they will love it.

• Cook his favourite grub

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. You can make his favourite dish and set up a dreamy candlelight dinner at your home. If you don’t like to cook, you can even go out to his favourite restaurant. Stick a simple proposal note, and there you are.

• It’s okay if you don’t want to kneel

Men usually bend the knee during a proposal as a chivalrous gesture. It’s a long-lasting tradition. If you don’t want to kneel, it’s completely okay. You can even stand and propose. Also, it’s cute to have a proposal speech ready.

So, this Propose Day, break the stereotypes and bash the traditions. Don’t wait for your man to buy you a ring. Instead, go ahead and surprise him with one. You can even share your proposal story with friends and family, and who knows you might just inspire your girlfriends to do so as well. Who proposed to whom? This should be based on who made up their mind first, rather than the gender.