Time heals...but therapy speeds it up!

A day before her 27th wedding anniversary Hira reminisces how her life changed over the past four years. She had much to be thankful for. She had three children Sagarika, Suvarsha and Shailesh. Her husband, Anil, was a good man and provided for her every need. 

Hira smiled when she thought of Anil's patience. She thought, "if not for his timely help, I would still be crying and not know why."

It was four years ago, just after Sagarika got married. She was with her parents for almost six months until her documents were ready and she could leave for Belgium. She could still remember the day when Sagarika received her documents. She had come rushing into the kitchen as Hira was cooking lunch. Bursting with joy, she said, "Mom, I am going to Belgium; my papers are ready." 

The minute Hira heard her daughter's joyful outburst, she felt a horrible emptiness envelop her and sank deep into grief. Something had gone entirely wrong; it was as if a floodgate had opened. Hira tried desperately to be excited that her eldest daughter would be going to join her husband, but the more she tried, the more she sank into misery, and her tears began to roll down her face.

Anil was the only one who noticed that his wife was in distress, and he saw that Hira spent more time crying than smiling. Anil often wondered, "what has happened to my Hira's smile." He tried talking to her and told her, "I know it's difficult to see Sagarika go. yes, she will be so far away from us; I will miss her too." That's all he said, and Hira couldn't stop her tears from falling. 

At first, Anil thought it was because Sagarika was leaving, but after two months after Sagarika had left, he would find Hira in a lonely corner shedding tears. One day he asked, "why are you crying? Has something happened?" She shook her head but continued weeping. It hurt Anil to see Hira like that; he missed those evenings when they sat on the porch and sipped tea. They used to laugh so much, but now his wife wouldn't even smile.

The very next morning, Anil and Hira went to see Dr Madhu. 

Dr Madhu and Anil had known each other for years, and Hira thought they were visiting him. When she reached the clinic, she realised this wasn't what she thought it was.

Dr Madhu had a long session with Hira, it may have taken a whole day, but by the end of the day, Hira felt a lot better. Hira requested more therapy sessions, and Dr Madhu told her, "yes, I recommend that we do some more sessions." 

At the end of six months of social support, Hira bounced back to her usual self, and Anil was overjoyed to have his smiling Hira back. 

One day when Anil and Hira were walking in the garden, Hira stopped and looked at her husband as she said, "Don't you want to know what was the issue and why I went through that horrible phase in life." Anil also stopped and smiled at her. He  shook his head and said, "I just don't want to see you crying again."

Hira smiled at her husband, saying, "I must tell you." They returned to their favourite place in the house, the front porch, and Sharmila, their maid, had set their tea for them there. Hira sat in her chair and waited for Anil to sit. She poured out a cup of tea as she told him of a chapter of her life that long lay buried inside her and caused her much pain.

She spoke of the day when she was just 8 years old, her father had been diagnosed with cancer, and how he had bounced back and continued to work in the army. But when Hira was eighteen, he was diagnosed with cancer for a second time, and this time it was back with a vengeance. But Hira did not know that it was terrible. She knew he had cancer again but kept telling herself he would get well again soon. 

Hira stayed far away from home. She studied at the University and stayed in the hostel. She would come back to accompany her dad for treatment. Everything seemed good to her. She felt her dad was getting better, but she did not know that her dad was slowly deteriorating, and it did not occur to her to get an update from the doctors about his condition. Her parents knew about it but never told her. 

Hira was in a hostel when her mother called to tell her to return home as soon as possible. It was a few hour's drives, and her sister would come and pick her up. 

When Hira's sister arrived at her hostel, Hira showed her around, and then they decided to travel home. Hira's sister was a few years older than her, and both girls were unprepared for what awaited them back home. When they got home, Hira's mother knew that Hira was preparing for an exam and had not slept the whole night. She told her to have dinner and rest and could come to the hospital the next day, taking Hira's sister with her.

The following day they returned, and the driver took Hira to the hospital. She dashed into her dad's room, saying, "morning, dad." But she was shocked to see what awaited her, and her dad was unconscious.

Hira had not expected that. She remembered her sister saying, I have said goodbye to dad, but now Hira couldn't even do that because her dad was actively dying. The eighteen-year-old stood and watched as her father died. After her dad's funeral rite, she had to leave for University. Her mother, overcome with grief, had left the country and moved to where her family stayed. Hira was left all alone, and she did not know what to do. 

Years later, when someone equally dear to her was parting ways, the sadness that caused her triggered the pain and grief hidden in her, and the dam burst. She cried because she carried a massive burden inside her. "I am the only one who didn't bid goodbye to my dad."

My Thoughts

Unless a person grieves enough, they will not heal enough, which is why therapy becomes so important. Social support received as the right time can not only help a person heal but will also give her the freedom to live life to the fullest!

Liked this story? Read another one- 'Rude Awakening'.