#WhyNot Deciding to be Single Or Alone, is a Woman's Choice

By Bhumika Chitkara

“When do you want to get married?” or “Who do you want to get married to” are some of the most common questions we all must have heard time and again but “Do you want to get married?” seems a very strange question, right? At least it sounds strange to me as I have not heard this very often!                                  

Why do people remain single has just one simple answer to it, that is , THEY CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE and their decision should be respected instead of pitying or judging them. 

While growing up, I always had people around me talking about how a person should get married ‘on time’ otherwise they will not fit into the category of ‘young eligible bachelors.’ I have seen people make choices on the basis of what others decide for them. I have never seen a case where a person was asked whether or not they want to spend the rest of their lives with someone. I thought that was normal but now I know it's not!

Society has set up some scary norms that every individual is expected to follow and if they decide to go against it, they are constantly criticised and questioned. Being single or staying alone is an individual’s choice and not a decision to be taken by the society. Marrying or not is also an individual decision and should not be done under any pressure. You are going to get judged by society at every step you take in life so might as well take the biggest one. 

In my opinion, living alone is better than being with someone who does not bring you happiness. It is human tendency to crave for love and care but there is nothing wrong if someone’s looking for the same attention, care and love from themselves. Being single can help you discover the parts about yourself which you never knew existed. 

There can be many reasons as to why people decide to stay single:

1. Trust issues : Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Lack of trust can lead to harmful reactions and can turn into bigger problems. This is one of the biggest reasons why people decide to stay single. Past incidents can affect anybody, so don't judge them.

2.Independence: Relationships are all about involving your partner in every decision you make, be it big or small. Some people just don’t like to be questioned. Staying single can let you have control over your time and decisions.

3. Self happiness: People who decide to stay single enjoy their own company more than others. The thought of staying single is scary for people but for some it brings happiness and peace.

4. Prefers alone time and stress free life: Some people cannot stand a person with them for long periods of time. The sole thought of being with someone scares them out. A couple is bound to have arguments, disagreements and fights. This may be stressful for some.

These are some of the reasons why people decide to stay single. From the scary thought of hurting others to the thought of hurting themselves, the list can go on and on! Being in a relationship can really take a toll on an individual's self esteem and self worth if they are not mentally prepared for it. You will be constantly seeking validation from your partner and you will try to change yourself according to what your partner wants. It can make you emotionally dependent and some people cannot take that. According to reports 50% of the adults in the U.S. are single and content. We should normalise staying single or singlehood instead of constantly judging and criticising the alone thought of it. Don't judge anyone let's understand each other better! If a lady earns for herslf and wants her own identity living alone, we should respect that.

Single mothers are criticised too, very often regarding how they will raise a child without a father. Be it financially or emotionally, they are constantly nagged by society and advised to remarry. I have seen many close examples of single mothers and they are doing a great job raising their kids alone. They are financially and emotionally independent and they surely know how to prove the society wrong.

SINGLE MOTHERS ARE BRAVE AND SO ARE OTHER SINGLE INDIVIDUALS!